Comparing yourself to others.

 Comparing yourself to others - link to podcast

Social media seems to produce a lot of insecurity as we look at others and compare. When we find ways to celebrate others successes and genuinely care when they struggle, we find a more childlike, beautiful way to love.

It doesn’t take much to make me feel a bit insecure.  I spend 5 minutes on Social media and can see people on holidays all over the world, or at least I used to, I see people losing weight looking fabulous, owning a house, buying a car, eating nice food and snuggling up with family and friends looking supremely happy and well loved.

On the other hand, as one social commentator notes "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel.”  So we can’t take social media too seriously. 

But then I meet real life people, my family, friends and colleagues and guess what?  They are often better, Smarter, faster, prettier and richer than me too. 

Some people I don’t even like much are better at lots of stuff than me and I secretly hope they break out in a rash or get caught stealing or something. 

We love to hate the opposition in our sporting teams as well and I love it when perfectly decent human beings who play for the other team, like Geelong for example, miss a goal from 15 meters out directly in front or if a pommy cricketer drops a sitter.  We cheer, laugh and spew unrestrained disrespect on their character and often the character of their mothers.

I find it hard to cope with 80 year old men with full heads of hair.  I don’t really like thin fit men and positively hate people who complain that no matter what they eat, they just can’t seem to put on any weight because they have a fast metabolism or something.   

Todays scripture reminds us that Love does not envy and we live in a world where the heart of envy - comparing ourselves to others is in plague proportions.  We look at others and can sometimes struggle to be happy with their success as it tends to highlight our own unhappiness.  This creates a world where relationships are tense because we are often looking for the chink in each other’s armor and the ways we can get the upper hand.

The lovely Sue is probably the most organized and strategic person I know when it comes to things like planning a meal or a holiday.  She has a heightened sense for this, I suspect because of her mobility challenges as she does not want to walk further than she has too, so she remembers everything.   I on the other hand leave the house three or four times get in the car, start the motor and then get out of the car and come back into the house to get my phone or my wallet of any number of other critical components of my day.  This has become a joke as she now expects this and sarcastically calls out hello fancy seeing you here each time I return.  She still only gets one kiss goodbye though, no matter how many times I leave the house.   

So I am now on the lookout for her to forget something, so I can normalize my foolishness to some degree.  So the other day, we were heading off on some holidays and we were all packed up and on the road driving when Sue turned to me and sheepishly admitted that she had forgotten her crutches.   Essential for the Lovely Sue to manage bathrooms and beach or pool based activities and of course we had to turn around and go back home.   On the outside I was a calm and reasonable husband, but on the inside I was going YES!!!   Ammo for her next jibe at me for forgetting the car keys and only realizing it when I get to the car. 

If we are to love and enjoy others we cannot always be threatened by their successes and smug about their failures.  We need a deep and sincere level of acceptance and respect for the people we love and for them to feel safe in our presence.  Our adversarial politics and the hierarchical and often showy ways we do church or work or even family gatherings, can sometimes feed this comparison sickness that makes so many people unhappy and fragile.

Park run is a great event because nobody really cares what your time is.  The fast people are as pleased to see you getting involved as the slow walkers at the back.  Mums with kids in pushers and old ladies with even older puppy dogs are as welcome and celebrated.  It’s a great level playing field and its structure and culture lends itself to a beautiful environment of respect and mutual encouragement. 

Last week I found myself cheering on the slim fit guys, who are my natural enemies.

I am reminded of a story about a 50 meter race organized with a dozen or so little kids from a kindy class.  They were all super excited to be involved together in the race with their friends.  The starters gun went off and they all raced away as best they could, but one kid stumbled and fell down quite early in the piece.  The kids nearby noticed this and stopped to see if he was OK.  He was upset and crying.  Soon all the participants had stopped and walked back to their friend.  They all put their arms around each others shoulders and walked together for the rest of the race finishing in a single wide smiley line.  Everyone was a winner.

So if you find yourself comparing yourself to others, or resenting people who are doing well, just step back for a moment and try to be a bit more childlike if you can manage it.  You’ll smile a lot more and maybe have more friends. 

 

Bless ya, 

Bryce    

Graeme Seeley

Graeme Seeley - Link to podcast.

Graeme Seeley was in my Plumbing class back in 1983. He started coming to the salvos where he met and fell in love with his now wife, Bronwen. They now have a daughter, who I met for the first time at my 50th birthday party. It's quite a story.

 

So back in 1983 a young this 19 year old Salvo boy from Camberwell in Melbourne began his plumbing apprenticeship.  Part of the training was to attended monthly one week blocks at Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology (RMIT) to complete the theoretical side of the course and learn skills like welding, sheet metal work and the rules and requirements for things like vents, drainage lines and natural gas pipe work.

When I eventually passed my various subjects and brought home the certificates one stated that I was now a fully qualified in gas fitter, my status with my immature and crude older brother was elevated even further.  “My brother is a bachelor of gas” he would proudly share with his friends!

As a young enthusiastic Salvo I was loving my life.  I was immersed in terrific music, had tons of fabulous friends and a growing awareness that I was deeply loved and valued by God as demonstrated by the consistent love and credible influences of my peers and the older people in the community I was involved with at Camberwell Salvos.  It was a loving and dynamic community and I was in the thick of it. 

So when I turned up at my plumbing class one Monday after a fabulous weekend to hear the colourful exploits of my fellow plumbers, which mostly consisted of how much they drank, how much they vomited, the girls they fooled around with, the police they avoided and the speed at which they drove their cars, I was obviously struck by the stark differences. 

When I was asked about my weekend I decided to swallow hard and tell them the truth.  I had a great weekend and nearly all of it revolved around my church community and a deepening love for God and his purposes for my life.    Well as you can imagine I was now the target of jokes and jibes about being pure and holy and not having any idea about real fun.  And they may have had a point.  Playing in a 30 piece brass band is not everyone’s idea of a good time. None the less, I told them what I had been up to and tried to trust God that my witness would be powerful in some way.   This was not the case and the entire group did not come weeping to the front of the class in repentance kneeling in penitence amongst the toilet pans and oxy torches.   Instead I was ridiculed and humiliated.  I felt a bit hung out to dry and that God was a bit of a mongrel for setting me up like that.

Roll forward a few months and I began to make friends with a guy in the class called Graeme and before long he showed a surprising interest in coming to the salvos with me.  We attended youth events like bowling and hey hey its Saturday talent nights and he loved it.  Before long he was coming to everything and really enjoyed the friendships and fun. 

On one occasion we were in a Sunday gathering and the preacher asked if anyone wanted to make a response to the message and take a step of surrender in their lives to God.  I was sitting next to Graeme and I leaned over and asked him if he wanted to do this.  He said yes and we went to the front of the church and Graeme took a step forward in his relationship with God. 

Now I have not experienced anything quite like this before or since, but with Graham it felt right to ask him like this.  We were solid friends by this stage and he knew I was genuine.   Before long Graeme became a full member of the salvos.  A soldier.  He loved Salvo life and joined in with everything that was going on. 

Graeme ended up falling in love with a great friend of mine, Bronwen.  A delightful salvo girl and within a year or so I was best man at their wedding.  It was a beautiful day.

So the wheels of time turned again and a few years later the Lovely Sue and I went off to salvo training college and then to our first appointment in Adelaide and we never returned to live in Melbourne again.   Graeme and Bronwen drifted out of our lives and we had almost no contact for many years.

Then in 2014 I turned 50 and had a big party at my dads place in Melbourne and I invited all my old Camberwell salvo friends to join me.  Of course Graeme  and Bronwen got an invite and came along.  They rocked up with this lovely young woman by their side and pulled me aside to introduce me to their 15 year old daughter Katherine.  Bronwen sat us all down and told the story of how she and Graeme came together and how if I hadn’t influenced her dad to come to the salvos, Katherine may never have been born.  I’m not sure what they expected Katherine to say, but she smiled sweetly and we all hugged and took a photo.  It was precious moment. 

I share this story as it is very special to be a part of someone’s journey like this and despite the years and the distance as I connected again to set up this episode, we felt the same strong bonds of love and joy  that we felt way back in the early days together in the salvos.   I love good friendships, don’t you?

My words in the plumbing class that day were fumbling and unpersuasive and I honestly felt it made no difference to anyone.  But that fact that I made a stand was noticed by Graham and has turned out to be surprisingly fruitful. 

Bless ya,   

Kindness.

Kindnness- Link to Podcast.

 

Kindness has been described as the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.

I had a conversation the other day with an older lady who had a point of view that was very different to mine. I am well humored and a slick talker and before I knew it she felt offended and left the conversation.

Now I have been reflecting on this and now realise that dealing well with situations like this is not simple. On the one hand, when given the choice between being right or being kind, we should always try to choose kind!

On the other hand, there are times when truth telling is important and if people get offended, well so be it.

Jesus' attitude to the Pharisees is a good example. He was clearly not kind when he called them a brood of vipers and whitewashed tombs; it was personal and it was direct. No fuzzy innuendo here. A veritable smack across the head with a four b two.

So how do we live out the idea that love is kind?

The essence of kindness begins with the understanding that we all struggle. If I have made a mistake, as has happened on occasion, kind people guide and correct me in a spirit of love and gentleness. This works well if I am flexible and open-minded enough to listen and receive the correction. It's not effective at all though, if I am rigid and stiff necked about my shortcomings or foolishness.

I barrack for Collingwood in the AFL and have done so for my whole life. I made this monumental decision when was 5 years old and to be honest it has been the source of considerable misery and ridicule throughout my life, but my mind is made up. I am a pies supporter. No argument will persuade me to swap clubs. It is a completely irrational and stubborn stance. But I’m not budging.

You can’t put new wine into old wineskins, not because they are old, its just because they are inflexible and will not stretch when the new wine ferments and expands and so the skin splits and the wine spills out. So I am told. I am stubborn and inflexible when it comes to Collingwood. I am like an old wine skin.

There have been times when the lovely Sue and I have had words. She has sometimes been unable to see the wisdom of my ways and despite my almost flawless logic, sensitive timing and complete unselfishness, she has not been receptive to the point of view I was presenting. I was aware that she too had a point of view, but I was not convinced that it was right and so proceeded powerfully onward with my point of view. Often disrespectfully. The result was not pretty. A dark, month long blizzard in Alaska comes to mind.

Over time, with some wise and loving if not somewhat direct counsel together, where I was described as a steamroller and enough time in the cold to find the motivation to genuinely reconsider my approach, I have learned to listen more, to consider and respect the lovely Sue’s point of view and to just be a lot more kind.

Kindness has been described as the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.

Most people know when they are behaving badly and are not expecting kindness from the people who are affected by it. People who are messy and need help are entitled to some welfare support from the government or agencies like the salvos, but they are not really expecting kindness. Not heartfelt genuine kindness as they feel they have nothing to repay it with, and when they get some, it creates a loving atmosphere where honesty and vulnerability feels safer. Where solutions to problems can be discussed in a spirit of mutual respect and authentic concern.

I was at Maroochydore last week and a guy in his 40s came to see us to pick up his welfare card with $100 bucks on it to help him through some tough times. He was a pretty scraggly looking sort of fellow, but the ladies gave him his card and paused for a chat and listened to some of his stories. I invited him for a hit of ping pong and we played for maybe 5 minutes as he needed to go somewhere else. But 5 minutes of ping pong was enough time for him to share about a recent grief in his life and for him to have a few genuine laughs. His heart rate increased a little as we played and he felt better. IN this tiny window of time we made the first steps towards shifting the encounter from welfare transaction to friendship. A small act of kindness was important and effective.

I got his number and we are playing ping pong again this week.

Kindness is a way of life for some people. They just wake up and look for ways to be kind. I reckon they are happier than the people who hold their kindness close to their chest and reserve it for only certain people. Go on try a little kindness.



Bless ya,

Bryce

Ryan Hook. Podcast buddy!

 

Ryan Hook - Link to Podcast

4 years ago I was sharing a room with a twenty something year old Salvo computer nerd for a whole week, while we delivered relief to residents of Airlie Beach after the devastation of cyclone Debbie. Who knew the friendship would last and Ryan would end up being my podcast tech buddy    

 

Back in March 2017 a terrible cyclone devastated the north Queensland town of Airlie beach, causing extensive damage and loss of life.  At times like this the salvos spring into action and personnel from all over the country are called upon to help out.  I put my hand up and was flown to the area for a one week consignment to help distribute aid to the affected residents. 

I was to stay in a little 2 bedroom unit in Airlie beach and found out that I would be sharing with a fellow by the name of Ryan Hook, an IT worker with the salvos who also volunteered to get involved.  I had never met Ryan and we were both aware of the risks involved in spending an entire week at close quarters with a complete stranger.  Ryan is a back end computer technician in his twenties and is a big guy who wears lary colorful clothes.  I am a 50 something blue polo shirt wearer with all the technical prowess of a small carrot and at first, it seemed possible that this would be a painfully awkward week together.

But nothing could be further from the truth.  We hit it off straight away.  Ryan introduced me to the colorful and hilariously grotesque world of B grade horror movies and I have rarely laughed as much in my life.  He ended up tweaking his computer so we could challenge each other in the game I played when I got my first computer back in 1991, Civilization.  I hadn’t played this in years!

We loved going to the shops together and buying whatever we liked as our wives were hundreds of miles away and we could splurge without consequence.  My treat was wicked sister creamed Rice.

Apart from the bromance and the delights of complete shopping freedom, we had a powerful time serving the community.  We distributed financial aid most days but also found time to visit the front lines where the damage was still painfully obvious.   Boats upside down in car parks, smashed trees and ruined homes were everywhere.

Ryan had a great camera and took some professional grade photos to compliment some of the stories I shared that ended up being part of the salvos reporting on the disaster.  We had dozens of impacting encounters with the people about their experience of this devastating cyclone and were able to make a significant contribution to the recovery effort.  People were so grateful and it was a rich classic Salvo “Hope where it is need most” experience to share with Ryan. 

When we got back to normal life, Ryan and his lovely wife Imogen, who is a keen runner,  joined me in some park runs and even a half marathon in Canberra.  Whenever I visit Redfern office I stop and say g’day to Ryan.  He is hard to miss in his Hawaiian Shirt and there is always a healthy supply of snacks at his desk. 

Later in 2017 Ryan came with me and around 15 other guys to Fraser Island for the annual Salvo Fraser Island fishing trip.  He was the official photographer for this trip and captured some sensational shots.  Again we loved hanging out together and sharing in a Salvo project that had a great impact on the lives of vulnerable people. 

These days Ryan is my go to person for podcast tech support.  I ring him when I have an issue and he has an amazing way of thinking through problems that has taught me so much.  He trouble shoots with me and has been instrumental in the progress of the podcast,  In fact having Ryan’s support gave me the confidence to have a go, as I knew nothing about podcasting and needed a buddy to back me up.    In many ways Ryan’s work is always in the back ground.  He works on websites and programs and makes sure they are coded properly.  Arty people make them look good.  Ryan makes them actually work. 

Ryan will probably never make it to the front page of the Others magazine or be celebrated as salvo of the century or anything, but his quiet humble contributions to my life, both as a friend and as a fellow Salvo have been brilliant.  I love this guy and appreciate him so much. 

Classic Ryan was the time I visited him one day at the office and as I was leaving for the car he presented me with a large tub of wicked sister creamed rice with a plastic spoon and a serviette.  He had thought of everything!  I ate that tub of rice with a smile as wide as the sky and a grateful if not somewhat sluggish feeling in the deepest part of my being that I am so lucky to have a friend like Ryan.   

Bless ya,

Bryce

Lord grant me patience. NOW!!!

 Patience - link to podcast

To be patient with someone we love, is  in fact being loving.  

Love is patient.  

But in a world of instant gratification, being patient is getting harder and harder.   

The other day I found a vending machine for face masks.  If you need a fabric colorful mask you just put money in a slot and out it comes.  There was a time when I had to order a fabric mask from my friend Sally who made them in her home and it took a few weeks.  But like everything in life these days, we want it instantly and our modern society finds a way.   If my burger takes more than a few minutes I get devastating hunger pains.  If someone hesitates at the lights or misses an opportunity at a roundabout, I can feel quite outraged at the 3.5 seconds of precious life that has been stolen from me by some stranger in the car ahead of me.    

This trend has an impact on our psyche and we have become addicted to speed and not just the drug, the need for constant action and stimulation.  We don’t tend to enjoy a pleasant leisurely drive in the country or a slow and deeply appreciated meal with friends.  We want to get from A to B as efficiently as possible and eat our meal quickly so we can move on to the next exciting thing to do.

When someone is talking and they waffle a bit, we get impatient and want them to get to the point so we can say what we have to say.  We want people to interesting and relevant.  We don’t have much time for slow people or people who take a while to get their message across. 

When we want to learn a new skill and it is taking time and effort we may easily give up and go back to what we know and are comfortable with.  On the Ukulele this is the Bb minor chord.  I just can’t ever seem to get my fingers around this one, so any song with a Bb minor chord in it is ditched and I go back to my old favorites. 

We want responses to emails very quickly yet just 40 or so years ago a letter in the post seemed to do fine and we were happy enough to wait a week.

All this change and instant gratification has created a society that is not fabulous at being patient.  And in our scripture reading today from 1 Corinthians 13:4 we read that love is patient.  Bad at being patient in some ways makes us bad at loving.

There are plenty of examples of how this virtue plays out in any relationship we have.  For example, the Lovely Sue is a very cautious and measured driver.  She waits when I would go and is slow when I would be fast.  She drives quite often now as I have had more accidents and speeding tickets than her and well its just safer she reckons.  It drives me mental, but I sit patiently as she mollycoddles her way along the roads and I bite my lip.  I am very patient with her. 

In the same way when I am driving she often places her hand gently on my upper thigh.  In the early days I was quite excited by this, but these days it means, slow down or both our lives will be miserable. 

The tension in the house when my speeding fines arrive and we throw good money away to the bottomless pit of government coffers, is of an exquisitely excruciating nature.  However she is not referred to as the Lovely Sue without cause.  Her capacity to endure and be patient with me is legendary.  She takes a deep breath and calmly explains that I will not be getting pocket money now for 3 months and that if I do it again and get just three more points the government will take away my drivers license.  She could rant a lot more, but she has seen how effective this is and she is now much more loving, realizing I am squirming and don’t need her to add salt to the wound.

A definition of patience is   “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.”      

To not be patient will make good relationships very difficult as impatient people are often irritable, aggressive and stressed out. 

Chinese Proverb. One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.  Maybe being frustrated with a child, or taking a call while driving, or sending an angry email 5 seconds too soon are examples where a bit more patience would make a big difference.

I think this is why a time of quiet reflection is a good idea when you can manage it.  It helps us get some long term perspective and familiarizes us with  being still and waiting for insights to come   This deep contentment and serenity does not come when we rush.  It is a gentle soaking sort of experience and we do well to develop the habit of being patient.

A final word of warning though.  If you pray for patience, you may find the Lord leads you marry a boof head or visit a Government department or a doctors surgery where you will be given ample opportunities to get some practice in.

Bless ya,

 

Bryce

Just a dog.

Just a Dog - link to Podcast

As a family we had to make the painful but necessary decision to put our beautiful dog Bella to sleep a few weeks ago.  Her last day was quite special really.  A whole chicken for lunch, ice cream for desert  and she was allowed to put her whole head out the window of the car.  We loved her, but she was "just a dog".     

So our beloved puppy Bella died a few weeks ago and we loved her dearly.  And by that I mean dearly!  it was expensive to love this little bundle of cuteness.  She was 13 years old and we have adored her for every second of her existence. 

But she aged and started to have a few issues.  She had urinary issues, she went deaf, had skin irritations and started having regular little seizures where she just twitched and zoned out for a few seconds.  She went to the vet almost every week and was on tablets, special food and had creams for her skin, eye drops, ear drops and of course worm and tick treatments.   All this along with regular grooming and a dedicated team of protectors to gather around her when a thunder storm came and she went absolutely mental.  This was one seriously spoiled and mollycoddled dog.

So the heartbreaking decision was made to have her put down and my two daughters who she lives with took on the task of doing this.  The lovely Sue was too traumatized to have anything to do with this process so the girls basically sobbed down the phone at me for a whole week before the deed was done. 

They both took the day off and made sure Bella’s last day was fabulous.  They took her to the park and she ran around for ages.  Then they let her feast on a whole roast chicken and for desert she had a bowl of soft serve ice cream.  She was so happy!!

After this she was taken home and the vet people came and let the girls say good bye on the bed with her for an extended time.  She then got an injection that sent her to sleep.  It was hilarious, apparently as she snored like a train and blew bubbles from her nose.  The girls laughed through their tears.  Then the second injection stopped her heart and she passed away peacefully.  It was beautifully done and the girls, although so sad to lose her were very comforted by the way she died. 

I loved Bella and she snuggled and played with me and was delightful, but I balked at the special treatment she was given and the costs.  I recall saying, She’s just a dog.  Well I read this poem recently and maybe now as I reflect, I realize I still have a bit to learn about life.

 

JUST A DOG

From time to time, people tell me, “lighten up, it’s just a dog,”
or “that’s a lot of money for just a dog.”

They don’t understand the distance travelled, the time spent,
or the costs involved for “just a dog.”

Some of my proudest moments have come about with “just a dog.”

Many hours have passed and my only company was “just a dog,”
but I did not once feel slighted.

Some of my saddest moments have been shared by
“just a dog,” and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch
of “just a dog” gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.

If you, too, think it’s “just a dog,” then you probably understand
phrases like “just a friend,” “just a sunrise,” or “just a promise.”

“Just a dog” brings into my life the very essence of friendship,
trust, and pure unbridled joy.

“Just a dog” brings out the compassion and patience
that make me a better person.

Because of “just a dog” I will rise early, take long walks and look
longingly to the future.

So for me and folks like me, it’s not “just a dog”
but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future,
the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.

“Just a dog” brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts
away from myself and the worries of the day.

I hope that someday they can understand that its’ not “just a dog”
but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being
“just a man” or “just a woman.”

So the next time you hear the phrase “just a dog,”
just smile, because they “just don’t understand.”

~Unknown Author~

Bless ya,

Bryce

Loving the plodders

 Loving the plodders - link to podcast

When we meet someone who is hurting or sad, we often do stuff to try make the situation better, by maybe giving advice or financial support, but if we just attempt to fix people and don't genuinely love them, what's the point?

For example, a brilliant heart surgeon may spend hours and charge thousands of dollars repairing a heart only for the patient to continue smoking, overeating and living a sedentary life.  Surely this is very frustrating and disheartening!  Excuse the pun.

I have friends who have had expensive plates made for their missing teeth and they don’t use them.  Friends of mine in addiction have amazing insights and knowledge of their condition, its causes and cures, the myriad of different pharmacology’s and they sometimes know about complex psychological strategies to address the problem, and still they drink or drug to destruction.   

In my experience many of the people I have worked with, sometimes for decades have not found the freedom and healing from the problems they are burdened with that both they and I had hoped for.  However the friendships and unconditional love we have shared over those decades has been powerful, and many are still striving and have not given up.

This sort of love is not conditional on them getting well, its just love – full stop.

This is hard going.  Social workers and most medical professionals are tasked with finding solutions to complex problems and they are funded as long as measurable results are able to be produced.   But even the best practitioners in these areas know in their hearts that fixing a medical or psychological problem is almost a waste of time, unless the person they are assisting is loved and has a sense of value and purpose in their lives. 

So you could pour yourself into a solution for someone in this way and feel useless at the end of the day.

1 Cor 13:3  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

But loving someone who does not change is very difficult and seems to be a waste of energy, unless of course loving the person is actually the end game. 

My mate Andy wanted to help me become a bit fitter and to get into running.  He gave me books to read and shared his stories of how good it felt to be fit himself.  He even purchased some cool running accessories for me like calf compression socks and a bandanna from a big race he had participated in.  He shared dieting and nutrition tips and all sorts of advice about stretching and footwear.  I ignored most of it and hardly ever wore the compression socks.  I did take carb loading very seriously though and was top of the class in eating pasta and potatoes before any big event. 

Sometime around 2012 he started to run with me every week.   I could only run very slow and short distances and ended up injuring myself consistently for the first year.   I was a very poor student, however he persisted and we often met just for coffee when I couldn’t run and then when I could run again he stayed with me at my pace and was always encouraging and supportive. 

In 2014 I ran the 10 kilometer course of the Gold Coast Marathon and in 2015 I ran my first half marathon with Andy by my side.  21 kilometers and as I came to the finish line I cried with joy and was humbled and grateful for the love and support of my friend.  It was a powerful moment for me and I have been consistently running similar distances ever since.  

But here’s the thing.  I am still the slowest runner in any group I run with and am still chugging more calories than I ever burn.  I’m heavier now than I was in 2012.  I never stretch and so remain as flexible as a concrete train sleeper, but I love running because the people I run with love me and support me. 

By almost any running standard I am a slow plodding sort of jogger and my complete lack of discipline when it comes to stretching and weight control has not changed in all the time I have been bouncing along the trails. 

Andy’s words and expertise helped me know about running, but it’s the love and mate ship of running communities that keeps me running!

I’m so glad Andy never set a target for me that I had to achieve, as I am sure I would have failed the test and he would have gone on to train more promising athletes.  But Andy runs with me because he loves me.  And that Changes everything.  My buddies at Helensburgh run with me because they love me and want to be with me.   I am a terrible runner, but I am a loved runner.

In a similar way, the hurting people in our lives and for salvos the people in our programs and who come to us for help, need people to love them along the way no matter what the outcomes of the interventions.

This is the way of Jesus,,, I reckon, and I am so glad church life for me is so focused on this beautiful culture.

 

Bless ya,

Bryce (The Plodder)

  

Mick's Painting.

Micks's Painting. Link to podcast

Michael is a Wiradjuri man and I met him when we went on a camping trip together.  Our friendship grew and he ended up painting me a picture.  I loved it as soon as I saw it, but I had no idea of the special meaning it contained for me!

A few years ago I took three guys doing the later stages of a Salvo recovery program on a camping and fishing trip all the way up to the Sandon River which is up near Grafton on the northern NSW coast. 

We didn’t catch many fish, but we had a great week together and built lasting and trusted friendships. 

On our return to Sydney I was able to secure a three bedroom house for two of  these guys to rent and visited them frequently over the following months.   Both Anthony and Mick were in the early stages of recovery and after leaving the security and structure of rehab they were at risk of relapse and they both needed to secure new networks of sober friends and find ways to fill their days with either part time work or volunteering. 

Mick is a Wiradjuri man from the Narrungdera Clan in Southern NSW and it turns out he is a skilled painter and does fabulous dot art in the traditional way.  Mick really needed to be busy and to find an income and so as we chatted about this I discovered that if he had some paints and canvasses he could sell paintings at local markets and start making some money.  So I organized some equipment and asked Mick to paint me something as I had always wanted to have some indigenous art and I was happy to be his first customer. 

He painted me this amazing dot picture and not only was it beautiful and rich with colors and design, it told the story of my life so far.  Mick knew me well enough to speak into my life in a profound way. 

The picture came in three columns or sections.

The first depicted me, or at least depicted my butt, sitting alone by a fire surrounded by weapons.  This is a season of discovering my identity and finding my way in the world as a single man.

The second section depicted me, the lovely Sue and my two daughters sitting around a fire.  I was looking away from the fire while the rest of my family was facing the fire, which represents me looking out for danger and protecting my family.  There is also a Cross in this segment indicating my commitment to the Christian faith. 

In the third segment there are only two people sitting at the fire.  The lovely Sue and me and again I am looking away from the fire, while she is looking at it.  This is a season where I continue to look out for my wife’s wellbeing but in this segment there are these wavy things and these depict the mysterious maturing of faith into deeper spiritual insights.  The gaining and nurturing of mature wisdom.

I was absolutely blown away to receive this painting and will always treasure it. 

There is something special about this art for me as it draws on the rich traditions of Micks ancestry and the wisdom and love of his people over thousands of years.  It connected me to myself and to Mick and his people in a powerful way.   I often find myself grateful for the wonderful seasons of my life, being young man and grasping the opportunities given to me, becoming a husband and father and finding my way in this world as a Salvo officer and Christian. 

I am also aware of the responsibility I have in this current season as an older man to have the courage to go deeper into what it means to be a person of faith and how to genuinely love and serve well, drawing on the experiences of the years and the inner wisdom that comes from a sincere and consistent search for the meanings of my life.

Mick and I have drifted apart over the last year or so and I have not had contact for a while, but the lasting beauty of his gift to me continues to have an impact in my life, and I am really grateful.

Bless ya,

Bryce