To be patient with someone we love, is in fact being loving.
Love is patient.
But in a world of instant gratification, being patient is getting harder and harder.
The other day I found a
vending machine for face masks. If you
need a fabric colorful mask you just put money in a slot and out it comes. There was a time when I had to order a fabric
mask from my friend Sally who made them in her home and it took a few
weeks. But like everything in life these
days, we want it instantly and our modern society finds a way. If my
burger takes more than a few minutes I get devastating hunger pains. If someone hesitates at the lights or misses
an opportunity at a roundabout, I can feel quite outraged at the 3.5 seconds of
precious life that has been stolen from me by some stranger in the car ahead of
me.
This trend has an impact on
our psyche and we have become addicted to speed and not just the drug, the need
for constant action and stimulation. We don’t
tend to enjoy a pleasant leisurely drive in the country or a slow and deeply
appreciated meal with friends. We want
to get from A to B as efficiently as possible and eat our meal quickly so we
can move on to the next exciting thing to do.
When someone is talking and
they waffle a bit, we get impatient and want them to get to the point so we can
say what we have to say. We want people
to interesting and relevant. We don’t
have much time for slow people or people who take a while to get their message across.
When we want to learn a new
skill and it is taking time and effort we may easily give up and go back to
what we know and are comfortable with.
On the Ukulele this is the Bb minor chord. I just can’t ever seem to get my fingers
around this one, so any song with a Bb minor chord in it is ditched and I go
back to my old favorites.
We want responses to emails
very quickly yet just 40 or so years ago a letter in the post seemed to do fine
and we were happy enough to wait a week.
All this change and instant
gratification has created a society that is not fabulous at being patient. And in our scripture reading today from 1
Corinthians 13:4 we read that love is patient.
Bad at being patient in some ways makes us bad at loving.
There are plenty of examples
of how this virtue plays out in any relationship we have. For example, the Lovely Sue is a very
cautious and measured driver. She waits
when I would go and is slow when I would be fast. She drives quite often now as I have had more
accidents and speeding tickets than her and well its just safer she reckons. It drives me mental, but I sit patiently as
she mollycoddles her way along the roads and I bite my lip. I am very patient with her.
In the same way when I am
driving she often places her hand gently on my upper thigh. In the early days I was quite excited by
this, but these days it means, slow down or both our lives will be
miserable.
The tension in the house when
my speeding fines arrive and we throw good money away to the bottomless pit of
government coffers, is of an exquisitely excruciating nature. However she is not referred to as the Lovely
Sue without cause. Her capacity to
endure and be patient with me is legendary.
She takes a deep breath and calmly explains that I will not be getting pocket
money now for 3 months and that if I do it again and get just three more points
the government will take away my drivers license. She could rant a lot more, but she has seen
how effective this is and she is now much more loving, realizing I am squirming
and don’t need her to add salt to the wound.
A definition of patience is “the
capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming
annoyed or anxious.”
To not be patient will make
good relationships very difficult as impatient people are often irritable,
aggressive and stressed out.
Chinese Proverb. One moment of
patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole
life. Maybe being frustrated with a
child, or taking a call while driving, or sending an angry email 5 seconds too
soon are examples where a bit more patience would make a big difference.
I think this is why a time of
quiet reflection is a good idea when you can manage it. It helps us get some long term perspective
and familiarizes us with being still and
waiting for insights to come This deep
contentment and serenity does not come when we rush. It is a gentle soaking sort of experience and
we do well to develop the habit of being patient.
A final word of warning
though. If you pray for patience, you
may find the Lord leads you marry a boof head or visit a Government department
or a doctors surgery where you will be given ample opportunities to get some
practice in.
Bless ya,
Bryce
No comments:
Post a Comment