Nobody really knows what it’s like inside our skin. People can empathize, but we ultimately need to face our lives alone, nobody can face it for us. This can be unsettling, especially when we are suffering, however some people find comfort in the mysterious presence of God at these times.
As many of you know, I am a keen runner and love going for a Jog. I often run alone and always take a mobile phone with me in case I have a heart attack, get lost or strain a calf muscle or something. I want to be able to call for back up and get support should anything go wrong. However when I run with someone else I rarely take a phone as it weighs a little bit and I already have to haul my hefty torso around and am ok to minimize the additional load …. However I seem to have no problem eating 5 mobile phones worth of pudding or roast chicken the night before a run, so I concede, this is not very logical. Mmmm, my point is that I like to have the security of someone else nearby whenever I run because I feel vulnerable without it.
Being alone in this world is uncomfortable for most of us and we usually like a friend to talk to or some company to feel safe and supported. However it is possible to feel very alone even when friends and support are nearby. David Whyte in his poem on Alone comments that a wife or husband can lie in bed at night and feel desperately alone even when their partner is literally 2 inches away from them.
Nobody can ever truly understand what it is like inside someone else’s skin. People can grasp the gist of it but my history or emotional and psychological patterns are unique to me and me alone! When I have the man flu, I know what this feels like and in my experience my friends and especially my female friends, have no understanding of how dreadful it really is for me. When my beloved footy team is likely to lose every single match, nobody truly understand the grief and humiliation this brings. I am alone in this experience. When I am on my death bed or genuinely grieving a loss, others can empathize, but I am alone inside my skin and have to face these things myself, nobody can face them for me.
When we come to grasp the depth of this reality it can be quite unsettling. We feel fragile and vulnerable. People may visit or a chat might take place, but most of the time we are left inside with our own thoughts, feelings and fears.
People of faith describe a sense of the presence of God when awareness of this deep aloneness comes. They sense God near and present in a mysterious and almost mystical way. Prayer becomes the internal dialogue with the divine that can happen at any place and at any time. People experience this as a comfort especially when being alone in suffering or when their troubles are inconsolable.
I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day who recently ran a 100 kilometer trail run. She is a strong runner and was not too troubled by the physical part of the running, but found the mental side of the experience overwhelming. Her support crew were there for her, but she had to do the running and thinking by herself. After 44 km she was not ok. Crying and despairing and 35 minutes behind her scheduled arrival time, she met her support crew and was wanting to quit. Her support crew prayed with her and surrounded her with love and hope and the assurance of God’s presence with her. Now this person is not a fluffy religious type who has weird mystical experiences every 5 minutes, but she shared that after this prayer she was aware of footsteps behind her as she ran. She often turned around to see who was there, but nobody was. Eventually she came to realize it was God, somehow present with her as she ran. Loving her and believing in her and deeply aware of her journey. She smashed the 100 km time she was hoping for and now, weeks after this event, seems to have this renewed assurance of God’s presence with her all the time. Not hearing footsteps – that would be a bit creepy, but really aware that love and hope and belief is there for her in a mysterious but solid sort of way. Isn’t that cool?
For her God is with her and she is never alone.
Since April last year when Covid hit and we were in lockdown and I started this podcast, I have been working from home more than ever and the Lovely Sue has now retired and is also at home more than she used to be. I often comment to friends on how lovely it is to have this season where we can be together and available for each other. Surprisingly the Lovely Sue then turns to them with a look of despair and says she just wants me to leave her alone. Maybe the lovely Sue hears footsteps like my running friend only to discover that it is not a mystical experience of the divine, it’s me!
Important to mention, sometimes being alone is a good thing too!
Bless ya,
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