Love Always Perseveres - Link to podcast
I bite my nails and it drives the lovely Sue a bit mental. However she perseveres with me and still loves me, most of the time. All lasting friendships and loving relationships require perseverance and a good measure of grace to flourish.
Recently a good friend of mine from my childhood lost his brother in a tragic accident. My buddy Rod was one of my best mates when I was a teenager and we went camping hiking and shared tons of great life experiences together. But as so often happens life takes over and we parted ways some 30 years ago. However whenever our paths cross our friendship and genuine love and care for each other is revisited and it has never waned even after all these years and all this time apart.
I rang Rod last week and just chatted about the loss and how he was feeling. We felt the closeness we shared for each other and commented on how our relationship is like family and we just know there will always be grace and love and respect between us. In lots of ways this love we have for each other has survived because we have persevered over many years in the confidence that the relationship is strong and true.
We cannot be present and available for hundreds of people but friendships can remain healthy even when there is distance, if we accept this and don’t demand unrealistic connections from too many people. It seems to me there are seasons for closeness and connection. This does not mean we are just fair-weather friends, it’s just the reality of busy lives and millions of people in the world.
I Corinthians 13:6 reminds us that Love always perseveres. It is a constant. It sees life through mature lenses and appreciates the ebb and flow of our personal journeys. I am so blessed to have heaps of friendships like this in my life and often bump into people I haven’t seen for ages and hug them warmly and sincerely.
In our closest relationships this persevering love requires a whole new level of intensity. I often share this corny line; the lovely Sue and I have been happily married now for 26 years, which out of 32 is not too bad.
The people close to us can see us warts and all. The see our inconsistencies and delusions. They see our laziness and selfishness. They smell us in the mornings and hear the tone in our voices when we are tired or irritable. They know what we really think of people who annoy us and how much junk food we secretly tuck away. Unfortunately the coffee/chocolate chip ice cream tub in the freezer does not empty itself and I have stood accused and defenseless on more than one occasion. There is a whole lot more rubbish to tolerate in intimate relationships than we see on the Facebook highlights reel or the clean slick ways we might present in public.
I have a terrible habit. I bite my nails. I’ve done it all my life and only for short seasons have I ever been able to stop. This drives the lovely Sue to despair sometimes and the slurp and crack of nail biting can be unbearably annoying. I do know this and but cannot seem to control myself. I am a seriously messed up unit in this regard.
So every night the lovely Sue gently touches my hand and stops the rot only to have to do this again 10 minutes later. Sometimes she uses words, facial expressions and sighs to express this frustration and this can raise the temperature of the room somewhat. I find eye contact something to try to avoid on occasions like this. However the lovely Sue has persevered with me on this and managed to find ways to remain close and intimate with her festy husband.
I am not confident that the issue is resolved and although I try to be good and behave myself, if the lovely Sue plans to stay married to me, she is staring down the barrel of another thirty odd years of childlike behavior to cope with. Let’s hope she loves me enough to persevere, as it would be a very challenging life for both of us if she lives with only one leg and I wake up one morning to discover that all my fingers have been chopped off.
Bless ya,
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