Love is not Rude

Love is not Rude - link to podcast 

Love is not rude, but often we are more rude to the people we love than we would ever dream of being to the local butcher or a work colleague.  The lovely Sue and I have had a chat about this and she felt I was on to something important here.

        

Those of you who have met the lovely Sue will know that she has no left leg.  Of course this is interesting to look at when she is in the wheelchair as only one foot drops down below her dress and people wonder why such a young and attractive woman is in a wheelchair.  Often children are fascinated by this and don’t have the social awareness to hide their curiosity.  They stare and lean in without restraint.   Once Sue was in the pool and a kid with goggles on ducked down under the water to have a closer look.   

One of our nephews when he was just a little boy was so intrigued he lifted up Sue’s dress and stuck his head under it to check out what the heck was going on.  All this is fine and Sue takes it all in her stride, but when adults stare long and intensely it obviously is a bit more upsetting and inappropriate.  When I am pushing the wheelchair and see this, I tend to give them a death stare that helps them understand that gawking like this at my wife is not OK.  They catch my searing glare and usually realise that this is maybe a bit rude and sheepishly look away.     

Doing anything that is insensitive and disrespectful towards someone else is not very loving.  For many years people felt it was somehow OK to tell jokes or make smart comments about minority groups, but thankfully there is a growing understanding of the damaging impact these sorts of comments make on people.   

 

Today’s scripture in 1 Cor 13:5 reminds us that Love is not rude.  Rudeness can express itself in lots of different ways.  The guy who cuts you off in traffic.  The lady speaking loudly on the phone while in the train, people on their phone while you are talking to them, someone eating with their mouth open or burping in public.  People who gossip.  People who use foul language or worst of all someone who takes the car space you have been waiting for with your indicator on. 

 

I guess there are levels for this sort of thing and some people are offended more than others, none the less, if you love someone you will usually try not to offend them and be disrespectful.  That’s just silly.  But its easier said than done.     

 

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I am aware that this is an area that I need to work on in my life.  I can be rude and insensitive.   

The lovely Sue is a very organised and naturally cautious person.  She can think of fifteen reasons why something will not go well, before even one of these has occurred to me.  So when she suggests a possible flaw in the plan I have in mind, I can jab back at her with comments like yeah and there might be a lightning strike as well or gosh I hadn’t thought of finding funding for this idea from my budget, I thought the magic pixies would look after this one.   

I can get a bit narky when I am second guessed, or questioned, but Sue and I are attracted to each other largely because we are opposites, and we need each other.  I think it is inevitable that the people we love and are close to will, at times drive us up the wall, but we always have options about how we will respond when these inevitable feelings come - and being rude is never going to foster the sort of love and respect most of us want in our relationships.   

I chatted to the lovely Sue about this behaviour and she didn’t disagree with me, in fact she was able to articulate more instances than I am comfortable sharing on this podcast, to help reinforce the point. 

So I apologised to the lovely Sue just before I came in to the office to write this podcast.  I am sincerely determined to do better.   

So the next time the lovely Sue rings me while I am in the car heading to the shops to pick up the breadcrumbs she asked me to get and I have to pull over, hook up the phone to the car system and answer it to see what she wants, only to discover that she has called me to remind me to go to the shops and pick some breadcrumbs, I will politely say yes dear, it’s all under control and thank you for keeping in touch.  Love you!   

But I may well need to switch over to the heavy metal playlist, so I can scream without being rude to anyone! 

Bless ya, 

Bryce