Fear and Trauma - link to podcast
Firstly when I was about 11, I snuck into an M rated movie with a mate and watched Jaws. This was a bit much for my urban, land based experience of the world to absorb, and I became afraid of anything to do with water. I felt afraid in the swimming pool and felt like a shark was after me as I swam. I was even checking the toilet as it had water and I couldn’t see what was down there at all times. But my most intense fear, of course, was the ocean, and I was afraid of the ocean for years – even into my 20s. I much preferred to stay in the shallows, as I imagined a shark attack waiting at every turn. I recall one time when I was snorkeling in the ocean as an adult, when a large shadow came across me. A blood curdling chill ran though my whole body. I turned, fully expecting to see a massive mouth with jagged teeth about the rip me to shreds, only to find a school of little fish swimming past.
My other intense fear came from watching the movie Poltergeist in 1982 when I was 18. In this movie at 3.14am every night the guy would suddenly wake up and start wandering about the creepy house and discover his little daughter in front of the static of her TV screen communicating with the evil poltergeist. It never ended well, and someone inevitably was chopped up and killed is a seriously gruesome way. From then on, If I woke up at 3.14 or even near this time, I would get the creeps and have to deal with my fears.
I guess we all have scary experiences that are hard to accommodate in our minds. Many are not just fears of the imagination like the ones I have described, but very real life experiences that were in fact traumatic. The feelings from these traumatic experiences can be triggered in ways that can bring the fear back to us in random and disturbing ways.
A big part of any recovery journey these days, is a concept called trauma informed care. It invites people to consider deeply the impact past trauma has had on a person and to avoid simplistic responses to the profound impact the past may have on the way people behave and respond in the here and now.
For many people fear and darkness contributes to debilitating depression and anxiety and this is a complex and challenging experience.
I am no psychologist and if you have experienced trauma, obviously professional help is a great idea, but it seems to me, that like so many other challenges we face, it is often helpful to have friends we can trust and who will not judge us, but rather offer us what the professionals call unconditional positive regard.
This does not mean we need to sit down and discuss the deep meaning of life or try to make sense of complex behaviors. What it does mean for most of us, is that we do well to continue to find ways to be in community with people who are struggling and to help them feel safe. Maybe share a meal or go for a walk. Go to the movies (maybe not a scary one) and catch up for coffee. Check in with a call or a text. Basic acceptance and friendship is so important for healthy well being. Let’s do what we can to make sure our friends don’t have to add loneliness to the problems they are facing.
So why not pause for a minute today and consider who has been placed on your heart. The love of God is not just a fuzzy sentiment, this love needs our hands and feet as active partners.
1 John 4:18 says “perfect love drives out all fear” so it seems to me, we have a role to play as we team up with God to spread the love and maybe calm some of the fear.
We cannot provide perfect love and often what we have to offer seems inadequate, but we may be able to offer a little reminder that it is real.
You never know, you might be the little ray of light and hope that breaks into the darkness, just when someone needs it most.
Bless ya,
Bryce
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